Day 2: It gets worse before it gets better

No, this blog is not going to be a sob story of me trying to get over a breakup. But yes, I’m going to talk about said breakup. Especially since it just happened, oh, TWO DAYS AGO.

And what I’m going to say is this: It gets worse before it gets better.

The first day, while I was obviously upset, was also strangely freeing in a way. I listened to a lot of Beyonce and Taylor Swift, spent time with my mama, and boldly decided I was going to give up dating for a year. I honestly felt unstoppable.

And by unstoppable, I mean in denial. I felt fine because, well, I didn’t let myself feel anything at all.

But it all caught up to me today. Just like it always does. Just like I knew it would.

Because it isn’t the first day after a breakup that’s the hardest. It’s the second.

It’s the day when you go back to work and you realize life goes on as normal… without him. It’s the day you hear his favorite song on the radio… without him. It’s the day you wonder how you’ll ever feel normal again… without him.

That was my day today. Yes, I know the breakup was for the best and yes, I know I’ll be okay. But to be honest, in the slow moments, in the moments when my mind isn’t preoccupied with something else, in the moments when I’m alone with my thoughts, I miss him. More than I should. More than I expected to.

So it’s hard. I’m not going to pretend that I feel okay today. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t have my doubts about all of this.

However, I do know that I’ll get through this. I always do. And I know that the next year is going to be more fulfilling, more beautiful, and more life-changing than any year that came before it. And while it hurts right now, it won’t be forever.

That’s what I keep reminding myself. That’s what is getting me through. That no matter how hard it is today, I have so much more and so many more better things ahead of me. I have to believe that.