you will never be enough for your eating disorder

Linking up with my girl Amanda over at Running With Spoons for today's post!

I'll stop when I'm thin enough.

I'll be happy when I'm pretty enough.

I'll get help when I'm sick enough.  

news flash.

you will never be enough for your eating disorder.

that's the scariest part of anorexia. that's why it is so dangerous, so deadly, so difficult to beat. because it messes with our mind. it re-wires us to believe there's some unattainable "enough" we need to reach before we can live our lives or before we can be happy or before we deserve help.

you need to stop bargaining with your eating disorder. it's a battle you can't win.

with anorexia, you will never be thin enough, pretty enough, fit enough, small enough, good enough. because that's what eating disorders thrive on, that belief that you could still be better, that anything less than perfect is a failure.

an eating disorder can only exist as long as you continue to feel like you're not enough without it.

it feeds off your insecurities, it loves when you hate yourself. it's the voice whispering "you could still lose more" when you step on the scale. its sole purpose is to destroy you so it can live. 

do you really want to waste another day of your life feeling that way?

because the reality is your eating disorder won't EVER give you what you want. it won't ever make you happy or beautiful or successful or confident or whatever you're hoping for. honestly, 99% of the time, it will make you the opposite of those things, it will take away everything. 

so if you're on the brink of recovery, if you're questioning whether or not you need help, if you aren't sure if this whole thing is for you, if you're wondering if you're sick enough, you are. I promise you. you are.

you are already enough.

say it out loud to yourself. write it on your mirror. save it as a note in your phone. you are enough.

you're enough without your eating disorder. you're enough just the way you are. you're enough no matter what size your pants are or what number was on the scale this morning. 

and most of all, you're enough to deserve the life you should be living, to deserve love and support, to deserve real recovery